POSTPARTUM
Welcoming Motherhood
Congratulations! Your beautiful bundle of joy has made it to earthside. You are in disbelief that you have just given birth to a human being you and your loved one have just created.
You are a mom. Your moment has arrived.
You have been waiting for this moment for so long. As long as you can remember actually. And you are finally a mother. But, instead of feeling this overwhelming joy, you are feeling anxious, uncertain, and lonely. Motherhood is ‘supposed’ to be the most magical journey.
But what no one discusses is the turbulence that can take place once you have your child. Now, it does not mean that you are not grateful for your newest addition to the family. If anything, you are. Yet you wonder why you are feeling these confusing emotions. I think for starters, we need to wipe out this concept of ‘supposed to.’ The greater the expectation, the greater the disappointment. Nothing is ‘supposed’ to be. Everything just is.
To the mothers out there still feeling lost in the fog of motherhood, we see you. This writing is for you.
Navigating Postpartum
Postpartum, or postnatal, is the period after childbirth, which is considered to last six to eight weeks. It ends when the mother’s body has nearly returned to its pre-pregnant state, which can be different for everyone. In fact, research shows that it can take up to 2 years to heal physically from birth. And postpartum depression can be present beyond 3 years.
While expecting your baby, your body is suddenly going through all these changes. After having the baby, it is now adapting to those changes. There is a pressure in society to ‘bounce back’ to yourself. What does that even mean? There is no such thing as being who you once were. You are not that person anymore. Everything has changed. Embracing the newness is where a lot of moms have difficulty. The more that mothers will long for the past, the harder it will be to be present. Postpartum includes grief of your past self and acceptance of your current self.
Prioritizing Self-Care
Some people also have this expectation that when the baby is born, they will instantly fall in love. Some people become dissociated, not feeling connected to their baby. Some mothers experience not specifically sadness, but a disconnection from their child. A lot of women experience crying often. It would be recommended to go to a therapist/psychiatrist if you are feeling disconnected from yourself and your baby. It can be so isolating when this is not spoken about among other women.
Your child needs a sane mother and not as much as her breast milk. Taking care of yourself is the most essential thing. It can be so difficult taking care of yourself whilst taking care of a child. Self-care is the most key factor that can help with those feeling lost and disconnected from themselves. A lot of moments mention, “I don’t know who I am anymore.” Motherhood can be so consuming that we feel like we’ve lost parts of ourselves. It is normal to suddenly feel an identity shift.
Medication is not something to be ashamed of. It is a form of treatment, but it is not the only one. Everyone will have a different post-partum treatment plan. Sometimes it does include medication, but it is not limited to that and does not always include that.
Nutrition and exercise is another tool that can make a difference in the post-partum journey. Many women have mentioned that Yoga has helped them regulate their nervous system and relax. Yoga is more than flexibility, it is a restoration for your mental and physical health.
Having a support system is essential as well. It takes a village to help a mother who is growing her family, especially as a first-time mother. Going to a therapist can also be a beneficial idea. A lot of women feel that it has been helpful to write down your symptoms. Talk therapy is important. Finding the right therapist is essential.
What if you thought about your body changes as a badge of honor? As you are navigating life with a new baby, you are also navigating your life with a new body. It is normal to feel as though you have lost yourself, although that is far from the truth. The stretch marks show the growth you have made expanding and making space for your miracle. Your smile lines from the belly laughs. Your forehead wrinkles because you care. Your strong arms from rocking your baby in the cradle. The breasts that sustain and nourish. The legs that danced and carried your baby for
miles during your journey. What a shame it would be if you covered up the proof that you grew your baby. This is your reminder that your body was not just your body, but the first place your baby felt like home.
Seeking Support and Treatment
When it comes to gifting the baby after a mom has given birth, we are all so fast to do so. However, what about the mother of the child? The greatest gift you can grant a new mother is checking in on her wellbeing. She wants to know that people are there that care for her. Just as you check in on her growing belly throughout her pregnancy, do not forget her when it comes to the post-partum time. That is when she needs you the most. It can feel like a lonely time for a new mother with new adjustments. Such as, sleep changes, daily feedings, diaper changes, social life and more. Welcoming a new life is transformative and beautiful, but can be incredibly
challenging as well. Being a mother is not easy. You still need to be a mother despite being stressed, depressed, burnt out, crying and struggling. Mothers are truly superheroes. Many women go about their normal lives and are suffering in silence. They look put together on the outside, but they are falling apart on the inside. You don’t need to have a broken leg to be hurt.
Perinatal Mood Disorders do not have a set healing time frame. This is different from the flu/common cold, there is no set time frame and it differs depending on factors. Healing in general is a journey. It takes time. Healing is not a race. Rather, go at your own pace. Don’t forget that the symptoms are temporary, and it will pass, just like everything else.
Embracing Change and Growth
Motherhood is learning about the strengths that you didn’t know you had. You are a warrior and will make it through. You have made it though before, and you will do so once more. Be patient with yourself, and the healing will follow. Maybe it is not about going back to who you once were. You are different. Everything has changed. Maybe it is about finding yourself through motherhood.
Despite the sleepless nights, you will find you. You will find you.
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